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Do Not Judge Other People And Then Complain And Gossip

It's human nature to analyze and judge other people to some degree. We assess and evaluate others based on their characteristics, attributes, importance, and our knowledge of them. We judge them on their physical appearance, personality, intelligence, strengths, weaknesses, heart, character, values, beliefs, spirituality, faith, occupation, ambition, success, failures, status, wealth, possessions, etc., and retain that information in a mental profile we create just for that one individual. Maintaining a mental profile on a person helps us to determine how we feel about them and how to best deal with them. Analyzing and passing judgment on a person can be a very constructive and helpful process, but negative criticism, however, can be very hurtful, harmful, and destructive.

Everyone is constantly judging everything and everyone else, without hesitation, but some folks I know are stuck in a negative chronic complaining mode. They loudly voice their opinion, pass blame, point fingers, and pass judgment as though they are perfect in every way. Many of them believe that it's their job and responsibility to find fault, criticize, and share how they think others should be. Some people seem to be obsessed with how people should act, and how things should be, instead of accepting people and things as they are. Certain thinking patterns make them addicted to this way of chronic thinking, which usually results in a need to share their negative thoughts with the world. Most of them don't realize or care how negative they are, and how badly their thinking and behavior affects them and everyone else around them. They just continue doing it as though their chronic complaining is going to make things better.

Thinking in this negative manner often stems from bad habits and being around other negative chronic complainers. For some, it has more to do with aggression stemming from feelings of anger, insecurity, and ignorance. Every time they negatively judge, criticize, or complain, they're hurting themselves, and it shows that they're not in a good place mentally. Maybe they should look in the mirror to see their own physical and mental flaws. Judging and criticizing others is a reflection of oneself. It's easy to see imperfection in everything and everyone around you. Accept others as they are, for you want them to accept you as you are. Love them unconditionally as you want them to love you.

Most of us tend to judge and complain but how do we know if we are overdoing it? It's especially difficult to know since we generally tend to justify our thoughts, intentions, and actions to satisfy our own perception, wants, and needs.

If you are not sure if you're overdoing it, try to catch yourself in the act. Observe yourself for a few days or a week to see if you're thinking negatively about others, or passing negative comments about people. Observing yourself without interfering will give you an opportunity to see yourself as you are, without bias. Chances are that you need to adjust and tweak your thinking process and the compulsive need to complain. If you find that you negatively comment about people or that you're talking excessively about them, take steps to break this bad habit. First, see if you can stop talking negatively about people and things. Then see if you can stop talking about people and complaining about things altogether. Do not express your opinion or give comments about anyone or anything unless it's absolutely vital or you are asked to. If you have nothing good to say don't say anything at all. Keep it to yourself. In the beginning, you may find that you have very little else to talk about. You may also find that you feel frustrated and restricted by not be able to express your thoughts and opinions freely. Some even experience feelings of loneliness and worthlessness when around other people. They become insecure about themselves and how they should act in front of others, as though a big part of them has been taken away.

Breaking a deep-rooted habit or addiction that has hardened over time is difficult, so do not be surprised how much effort it will take for you to change. You may find that you will have to reinvent yourself and develop a new personality, one without the need to continually pass judgment and criticize. Give yourself some time and make a real effort to change and improve in this area. Continue to repeat the steps listed above. Keep adjusting and filtering what you talk about. It will become easier after a while and you'll develop a better grasp as to when and what to talk about. Most people really don't want to hear your complaining anyway. You will feel better for making this positive change, but remember that it's a work in progress and it's something that you will have to continue to fine-tune throughout your lifetime.

In time, you will find a balance between speaking and being silent around other people. You will find that it's sometimes better to be silent or to only speak about things that are important, without whining and complaining. Do not try to entertain someone else by taking and complaining about what's wrong and how things should be. Instead, try listening to what the other person is saying but remember not to give advice or your opinion unless asked, and even then keep it short and selective about what you say and how you say it.

Spending time in silence while things are happening around you requires effort and focus. Over time, you will most likely find that you like and enjoy the many benefits of being with oneself. You may find peace by stopping your mind from racing with negative thoughts and passing judgment on others. You will no longer have a strong desire to chronically complain and whine.

We're imperfect and short on time, so stop judging and complaining. You'll be happier for making this change and chances are that you'll have better relationships with your family and friends because of it.

Stop the madness and find peace, love and tranquility. Free yourself from this dysfunction.


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