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Social wellness skills are required

Improve your social wellness skills and you will improve your life.

Social wellness reflects the status of your current relationships, social network, and social skills. Social skills reflect your ability to communicate, interact, facilitate, and persuade others, without undue conflict, problems, or disharmony. Developing the ability to socialize well with others is an art that requires skill, technique, finesse, and practice. It is a craft that some people do well, while others don't. Interactions with others are dynamic and for the most part unpredictable by nature, thereby making it difficult to truly master social skills. Social interactions are easy and enjoyable for some and confusing and difficult for others. At a basic level, such as a smile or making eye contact, it's simple, but beyond that, most social interactions quickly become complicated and difficult to predict with any consistency. Situations change and people react to those changes.

For the most part, social interactions are extremely complex and difficult to manage well. During a social interaction, you must be aware of your own thoughts and actions and quickly assess the thoughts and actions of others. Verbal and nonverbal communication takes place throughout a face-to-face encounter. An awareness of the person's body-language and assessing whether she/he is friendly, open, and sincere, is part of a face-to-face any social encounter. The location and environment can also alter and change the dynamics and flow of the situation.

It's important to interact with people correctly. For example, knowing what to say, when to say it, how much to say, and when to say nothing at all. The ability to listen well is extremely important. In fact, listening can be more important than talking in many situations. Most people need to develop a good ear for listening to others, and to know when to turn listening off; for people can fill you head with garbage information that can negatively affect and influence you.

Interacting with another person usually involves using various techniques to assess the other persons' personality, mood, interest, strengths, aggressiveness, vulnerabilities, weaknesses, defenses, dysfunctions, actions and reactions. Unfortunately, trying to reveal these traits and accurately assess them usually happens while you're interacting with the person, so it is very difficult to do well. To further complicate matters, everyone is subject to changing quickly, without any notice or reason. Mood swings, dysfunctions, emotional/physical health, environmental, and daily challenges can account for a person's state of being. Interacting with someone can be challenging, irritating, annoying, and frustrating, or it can be extremely rewarding and satisfying. A person can also reward you by trying to meet your want and needs.

For most people these interactions are relatively easy to understand, but being able to navigate smoothly and persuade these interactions well requires skills. When someone lacks social understanding, these simple interpretations of other people's actions are very confusing and difficult. Social interactions are clearly dynamic and unpredictable, so how can we cope and handle them in an effective and successful manner?

This is where finessing comes into play. The art of finessing is useful when trying to create and maintain a good rapport and good interactions with others. Finessing is the ability to approach and deal with situations and interactions with people in a subtle, diplomatic and tactful manner. It is the ability to influence and persuade another person's way of thinking. A person, who has sufficient skills to asses and manipulate people well, must be savvy and shrewd, but not necessarily mean, devious, sneaky, or have bad intent. This person has to display and conduct themselves in a smooth and graceful manner and posses the ability to negotiate and maneuver in and out of difficult situations well. People will usually think well of she/he and feel that she/he is likeable, trustworthy, and very comfortable to be around. Most people, consciously and subconsciously, use their social skills, such as finessing, every time they interact with another person. How well a person uses their finessing skills is the real question. The level of finessing skill is determined by the effectiveness by which they are used and it varies greatly from person to person and situation to situation. Therefore two social encounters are never exactly the same. This keeps the dynamics of social wellness challenging and exciting.

The benefits of possessing good social skills are endless. People with good social skills are naturally more popular, well-liked, and respected by others. The opportunities are abundant and achievements can be plentiful. Developing good social skills can improve your life in countless ways. People with good social skills tend to lead and experience a better lifestyle than those who don't.

A lot of people take their social skills for granted, without realizing their benefits and how important they are towards achieving life-wellness. Some people can't be bothered to develop and exercise their social skills. Many of these folks believe that it's not important and that people have to accept them just the way they are, regardless of what they say or their actions. It is safe to say some of these folks have poor social skills and that they are probably self-centered, awkward, uncomfortable, and/or pushy during a social interaction. They are unaware, or don't care to know about all the complicated skills used when they interact with others. They probably don't care how they affect and emotionally infect others during a social interaction. This is truly a shame for they don't realize that they are negatively affecting their lifestyle and their life. They refuse to acknowledge that there is anything wrong, while other people strive to figure out how to improve their skills. It's important to work on developing your social skills consciously and not just let encounters and interactions with people happen randomly, without intent. You should focus on the outcome that you want.

A person's ability to socialize well is directly linked one of four social skills levels or stages. The first stage or level of social skills is the ability to barely cope, and to have casual conversations and encounters with some difficulty and awkwardness. The second level is the ability to begin and maintain healthy relationships and a social-network. The third level in social skills is the ability to finesse your way in and out of difficult situations and negotiate well. The forth and last level in social skills is the art of persuasion.

Everyone, regardless of how good or how bad they are at it, need to improve their social skills. Social interactions are dynamic, and are nearly impossible to master for every encounter and situation. It's therefore safe to say that everyone's social skills need improvement. Mastering your social skills is a lifelong quest that takes mindfulness, time, and effort. Keep working on and developing your social skills and techniques. It's well worth it.


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